The ''bad news''

Lets see... where should i begin?

Today's weather was perfectly fine and the sunshine simply made the world look like a rainbow in many ways... but all of that only ended up turning into black and white when I received "the news" that made one of my little imaginary snow globes shatter into a million pieces...

Everyone has a snow globe... something that we imagine to have control over or something sweet and child like that we dream of very so often... something that captures what our hearts really desire (whether be it in the Long run or the short run)... it's that one constant thing that keeps us driven to soldier through the crazy moments in life...

So this was my snow globe for the last few months.... I had imagined myself spending countless hours on end with that someone special... we did many things together e.g. go to the beach, sit by the colourfully lited up river banks and breathing the warm damp air of singapore, or even just watching a movie together and feeling good about it because it was so damn cheap compared to aus's prices... and not to forget, the classic scene of watching the sunset together on his balcony of the high rise apartment (which i presume, would have a rather scenic view, given that it is high rise and all)

So the snow globe was all polished and nice untill jsut about mid way through the day when he called to tell me that it was 98% not going to happen... simply because the stupid military decided to ship his black ass off to friggin BRUNEI? I mean ... seriously? like... FOR REAL? FRIGGIN HELL.... how shit can this news possibly make me feel?

Just the feeling of being so frustrated, angry and sore about it, topped off with being completely incapable of doing anything to make the situation change for the better, just makes one feel so.... INSIGNIFICANT .
It's as if your life is simply up to some external over powering figure that pulls the strings in your life - So if he decides to make life difficult, he can just do so...
UNFAIR UNFAIR UNFAIR .... no other word could possibly replace this word in my head right this moment. JUST ARGGHHH stop controlling my life! It feels like whatever I want is never going to happen because you'll just end up taking it away from me anyway!

Sigh... what can one do though, when that external over-power figure is a whole government with a million rules and regulations and not mention punishments for any criminal acts (that had crossed my mind in anger) that i could possibly commit to make a stand against this crazy black suited men (women if any) !

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Shifting away from the anger, today i discovered something really intruiging - known as : ''The cube''.  A concept that bamboozled me at the start, seeing how accurate and true it was, when he was analyzing my inner thoughts and emotions. Crazy as it seems, it felt like a mirror was put infront of you to reflect your subconscious mind and ideas that no one has ever seen before.
So Out of it all, i've learnt one thing, thats for sure... It is that the CUBE cannot be explained over here for it must be experienced to give the cube's theory the deserved complexity and value within. i suggest... GOOGLE it? (only because I'm asian) but thats pretty much as much as i can say on this emotionaless diary.

However, its about 12.02 atm so i guess it's time for me to go to bed and sleep on the thought of having a whole day of study ahead waiting for me to get out of the way (if i even end up doing it)... though chances seem slim because of the great 26degree weather that tmr is going to be!

Anyways, laters for now ..