Alrite well before i begin my reflection on the past 16 years? wait 15? [shhs I CAN COUNT] of my life... let me just warn u, its gonna be a long one, so if ur not ready to sit tight then close this page right now =]
Anyways.. on with it ! In the last 16 years, i've been through the typical teenage years of rebellion and now i can definitely say that boyy am i glad that its almost over! Honestly, i cant rmbr when i learnt how to tell lies or when i learnt how to fight back and speak my mind, or when i started to drift away from this family. But i one thing for sure was that this begun not that long ago, probably during my recent years in Melbourne i guess... Coming here was this huge step that we as a family had to take together. But living here was a whole different story. Throughout those times, there were those real good times where i felt like i was standing at the peak of the highest mountain ever, and also those bad times where life felt like i was on this downward spiral that ended in this massive ditch [ like those quick sands] which would suck you in faster the more you struggled.
And recently i lost the one thing i found when i came here and that was this amazing faith in God . I lost it because i gave in to anger and rage and lost a relationship that meant the world to me. So why couldn't sorry do the trick? well heres how it works, i figured that some things in life can't be mended with just a word of "sorry", somethings.. like a broken heart or a disagreement that turned into feud and hatred... And now that i look back, all i can say is [with regret] that i wished none of it had happened. i wished i hadn't lost my temper and i wish i hadn't lost control of my rationality and i wish i hadn't used those bad words on you. I was so foolish as to unconsciously blame God for all the wrongs in my life but now i thank god, that through these difficult times i learnt to really listen to his word and search for him. I learnt that only through prayer, the impossible becomes possible. And of course i couldnt have done this without the encouragement and support from my a few special ppl. In particular, Ben and Eunice for the ENDLESS support and encouragement that they gave me. I love you guys to bits and pieces<3 Even though the other things i have gained along the way will never replace the relationship [ i lost] that i screwed up, you learn to look on the bright side to everything and just live with hope and learn that not everything in life will do your way... most importantly i learn't the true meaning that God has a reason for EVERYTHING.
Well today something strange happened. In the morning i read my devotion book as usual, and the message
was to encourage one another in faith and so coincidentally i received encouragement from the one person who knew me inside out =] and that was "youuu" [Ben.H] ! I gotta say you picked the right verse [whether by accident or not] i wont forget that verse from Deuteronomy especially in times when i find it hard to cope=] Btw man i gotta say im pretty impressed even though the my eyes went blind from reading your hand writing! [i couldnt read a few words... ok maybe a paragraph HAHA jks jks] BUT i could tell it was really from your heart and i appreciate that. I'll be sure to make FULL use of the 24 /7 service and just in reply of your question ... im up for 2 years FOSHOO BROO! ANYTIMEEE Yall ! HEHEHE and lastly thanks for the whole bf/bf thingo ! [ you noe wad i mean lah] so.. BFFL yea yea?*Judy* Ehh girll thanks for you AWESOME AS CARD ! EVen though this doesn't happen in the book of TIN TIN ... [who caresss] TINTIN LOVES SNOWY HIS [her] FAV MOST FAITHFUL COMPANION TILL THE ENDD! WOOHOOOO =]<3333333 p.s. Snowy is on my bed now =] WInk wink*
*jess* EHH girll=] man the sleepover was the BESTTT and THANK YOU for the awesome fireworks !!! and the cake !!! [why dont u go be a baker?HEHHE ] we Have to do another sleepover K!
<3333
ok i needa go now =___= i've officially spent 2 hours on blogging ... [NOTE TO SELF* NOT GOOD] T__T
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