The suburban home...

On a quiet, gloomy day in a modern looking suburban house, there was me and the dog. 

Slouching in my couch thinking of the many worries of life, i stumbled upon the one that i'm simply too unsure off - Distance and loneliness it brings, even more so, when the person you love is thousands of km away in a foreign land, distance becomes a nightmare, maybe even an extended one. 

Be it a family member, boyfriend, girlfriend or best friend, wherever in the world they maybe, the distance between you and them cannot be made any more real by the ticking of the clock and silence that surrounds you, once you're left alone. And I've found that this emptiness simply cannot be filled with any amount of cute soft toys, calls, messages, letters or flowers no matter how hard one tries to deceive oneself into thinking so foolishly. The presence of that special one, is all that is needed to make things whole again, yet sometimes it is not your will that life allows to unfold, but the will of totalitarian governments and a loved one who is trapped within its nets. 

Walking into a house with people in it, feels like home, but walking into a house with no one but cold air feels like a cage. Desperate needs call for desperate measures hence, my unwillingness to come home to a cold house made of wood and beams, with a pile of dishes stacked up in the sink and pots and pans waiting for me to clean. Simply not the home i wished for. Working 2-3 jobs is hell of a lot for a normal person with a warm home to go back to, but not alot for someone who has nothing to go back to. 

The most empty point is when everyone leaves for a good reason, so you can't ever get angry or blame them for leaving you behind, yet when silence kicks in and all you want to do is find someone to blame and someone to hold, there is no one there for you, but yourself -

Just another quiet rainy day in the eastern suburbs around melbourne...