its 11.57 am and i just got off the phone with ben. Seeing as i cant get myself to sleep just yet, i decided to return to my fav place~ My blog~.

Todays devotion passage comes from Mathew 5:13-16

You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Hmmm i really like this paragraph. It does make me think alot deeper. We are the salt of the earth. If we lose our "saltiness", how can we be made "salty" again? Question is can we ever? I cant help but wonder, when it says "it is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men" does that mean that once we lose this faith or this passion, even though we can regain and renew it, it'll never be as "salty" as before? Or does it mean that once we lose track and go astray, we can never be used again for God's work and his glory? And then it goes on to call us the "light of the world". But personally, quite so often i find myself ending up as the lamp under the bowl, hiding beneath the surface, hiding the "light" in the darkness of the world. Is it shyness? or embarrassment? or am i ashamed? 0.0
I asked myself why and tried to give myself an answer but even i dont know the answer.
So I thought to myself, if i was asked to stand up on the highest platform closest to me amongst a big crowd of people, regardless of the number of non-believers standing around me, and jump up there and scream out loud that "I LOVE JESUS!!!" ....would i be able to?
Honestly, i wouldn't be able to. But is this what god means when he wants us to show our faith and not hide or be ashamed? Is the reason for me not being able to do such a thing - the fear of being embarrassed? or the fear of people judging me? or the fear of how many non believers surround me ? i dont know. I honestly don't. But maybe one day... i'll try it. One day...

HElooo everyone. Im back with some photos though they are rather ugly =___= ok so maybe i didnt get the AWESOME photos i promised... but AT LEAST I made an effort to get some photos. =D
SO these are a few of the photos from the month of november, i'll have more coming up. just need to get these ones out first! =P [p.s. their not in date order but i'll make sure to explain each one ^_^]


OK this was on the 21st =D when ben n i were having lunch n i decided to capture his pervertic look ! *just incase u cant see what the speech bubble says. it says " 4 entertainment call me @ 1800-333-777"


Us - celebrating jess n tanya's birthday=]


Me n jess lovinn those glasses=] As u can see...

ok thats it for now. i gotta go do stupid course confirmation =] but all in all it was a fun day!

Hmmm today was awesome =] spent half the day shopping with ben and the next half watching movie n going to youth! as usual youth was violent but funnnn as.
Niweas there will be some photos coming up soon since sunday is APPROACHING! and i WILL N PROMISE TO GET SOME AWESOME PHOTOS!
niweas thats it for now=] laterz

enough is enough

You may be all the things in the world, knowledgeable, street smart, wise... yea sure these things are good to have, but one thing you dont have is the heart to give in when you're wrong or to take a step back in a fight and say sorry. You must win, you cannot lose. Thats how you think. And i know it because im on the receiving end. You say things and argue your way even if its wrong. You pick on me when i'm most frustrated. When you're in pain, everyone around you is insignificant and everything is about you. When you've had enough arguing, you simply abuse your status and say "enough is enough!". You know i can't say a word after that but you prick my pride just for fun. You see anger brewing within me, yet just to satisfy yourself you make me admit that i am wrong. You are unreasonable, intollerable and now i say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"

This is what its like....
*Every 5 seconds... *" why aren't you doing your work!?" he says...
WELL HELLO... FOR YOUR INFORMATION I"VE BEEN DOING WORK FOR THE LAST 5 HOURS AND WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM? A ROBOT? FREAKING GIVE ME A BREAK.

*he's sitting there with an ice pack on his arm, watching tv*
"My arm hurts, can you go to the kitchen n get me ice cream..."he says... [ technically he isnt asking, he's implying that he WANTS ice cream]
so i say "i'm having stomach cramps" and
he goes " but its so near, why cant you just walk there?*
... right... so i can walk there with stomach cramps since its SO NEAR... and you cant coz you've got an arm that is feeling sore [from golf which is ur fault coz y must u play golf if u know its going to be sore] .....

Seriously the only reason im on at this weird hour in the middle of the night, hitting these keys real hard, completely disregarding the fact that i have a methods exam tmr morning.... its just coz i've been kicked off the edge into a boiling cauldron to burn with anger. I am sick and tired of you being so selfish and unreasonable. I think what you need really.. is a taste of your own medicine! FREAKIN JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!! ARGH!

great... look whose here... my mum and she's trying to use her soft talk and talk me into believing that he screamed at me for a good reason. yeh right... this is what i called BULLSHIT... coz somehow the look on her face doesnt seem like she believes what is coming out from her mouth... this is the last thing that i need... another lecture from mum. great night isnt it. im so screwed for my exam tmr, but really i kind of want to fail it just to piss them off. Im pretty sure it will do some damage [since i've never failed before ] although probably not as much as i hope for... but oh well.... i just hope that i can get some peace for the next few days... it be good if i can avoid running back here to vent my anger, since i have "no right at all" to vent it in real life with him around.

The thought of me not coming home till after youth which is about 10pm is indeed awesome. cant wait till tmr. I can study in peace, take breaks in peace when i want to [ coz i'll be in the library the whole day] and feel free from unneccesary stress. wohooo. cant wait.

FINALLY its over... my 3 4 exam. no more accounting for a year =] WOHOOO =P
i guess thats why i've finally found the time to come back here n update it T__T

so i'll just start from yesterday coz i cant rmbr wad i did in the last month that i didnt blog T__T
yehh yesterday i had youth =P it was pretty fun coz we had heaps of girls FOR ONCE !!!! n it was AMY N LIZ's brithday HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZ for todayyyy!!!!!
Yeh n jess and i had soooo much fun in getting levin back for his absolute RUDENESS AT US over msn =] it was satisfying though =P as usual the night started off with games and i ended up tripping over with everyone falling over me within the next few minutes, but it was pretty fun anyhow ! After which we ended the night with D -teams which was really good as well =]

As for today, i had to work from 9.30 am to 3pm, it was very tiring and can i just say... i officially HATE CARROTS! T___T they are the HARDEST THINGS TO CUT! seriously... it took me like a GABIJILLION years to shred 4 boxes of carrots coz the carrots kept flying everywhere! ARGHH n by the end of it my arm was NUMB and ORANGY coloured... howwww niceee =.= To top it off after my battle with the evil flying carrots *glares at shredded carrots* i was asked to to do prep for the stinkin avocados which seriously is just SOOOOO HARD TO MASH n pretty disgusting to see it mash between ur fingers =___= so that coloured my arm green and left me with stained green and orangy arms, how attractive T_=" but apart from that work was pretty alrite i guess.
After work i went around shoppo with mum and dad for a little while, n saw quite a few nice HIGH waist skirts just that i kind of have a weird feeling abt fashion these days. Its sort of like, i can look at a nice skirt or top and totally fall in love with it, but i dont end up buying it coz i just know i wont be bothered to wear it out. I duno what is wrong with me. Problem is i can be bothered trying out HEAPS of clothes at a store but end up losing interest in buying them after trying them on, even though i think its nice. seriously i think im on the path of becoming a sloppy freak coz even i dont know why i cant be bothered buying nice clothes and wear them out.... i've lost that passion to dress up really really nicely and not look sloppy everytime i go out with friends. hmmm oh wells i hope this is just a 'phase' im going through... =| but for now i guess im better off staying at home n not shopping till i eventually grow out of this sloppy phase of mine.

alrite thats it for now... i gotta go do some work n i prob shld get started on revision for my exams which are starting this tuesday =___= AHHHHHHHHHHHH
=D laterz guys.