i know who holds tomorrow...

I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from it's sunshine,
For it's skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said,
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.
Refrain
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

Ev'ry step is getting brighter,
As the golden stairs I climb;
Ev'ry burden's getting lighter;
Ev'ry cloud is silver lined.
There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eyes,
At the ending of the rainbow,
Where the mountains touch the sky.

Refrain
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

I don't know about tomorrow,
It may bring me poverty;
But the One Who feeds the sparrow,
Is the One Who stands by me.
And the path that be my portion,
May be through the flame or flood,
But His presence goes before me,
And I'm covered with His blood.

Refrain
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

'at the edge'

i'm on the edge of it...
why cant she say something good or something that is ANTI depressing... sometimes i feel like being nice to her, but yet its so hard when she does what she does! i mean yeahhh i shldnt forget all the things she's done for me but she doesnt have to dump all her frustrations on me !!!
FAR OUTTT! i really dont know how long more i can take it !!! everytime we sit down together for a meal, its always ABT HER !!! its ALWAYS abt how she is feeling depressed... how she cant take it anymore etc etc but sometimes it makes me wonder ... "do you ever consider the fact that ppl around u ... JUST MIGHT have their own problems too?" and that "when someones trying to keep happy... you dont just go around and tell them depressing things to push them off the edge?"

i just want a break. maybe if she cld just NOT say anything that will push me off the edge for 1 MEAL... i wld be so friggin happy...

so this is my dilemma ... [cant believe i'm back to this]

i wana tell her that i cant take it anymore... because every time she starts on one of those depressing problems.. i jus feel like bursting into anger ... or running away from it, from her... yet i cant bring myself to do it..coz she's my mum... ARGHHH ..... so guess wad happens.... it goes one big round and ends up inside of me ...each time that happens... i get more and more frustrated... each time that happens.. it adds to my burdens...
each time that happens... i juz feel lyk im closing in on the edge...
i'm gonna fall off soon.

i dont wana hurt her but i dont wana have to take all the burdens...
i like being happy... i like feeling light
i just cant help it , i know im being selfish
and i dont like having to be selfish
but i'm not willing to be depressed 24/7...

so what am i to do??
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I fell off the edge today...
---------------

but i still cant bring myself to tell her all this...
i think i'll just live the depressing times in quietness...
coz i trust that god will be there to catch me when i fall off the edge once again...
he'll never quit... and so i'll learn to take it in...

Looks can be decieving

You may say to someone that you envy them.. but maybe that specific thing that you envy them for is exactly what their short of... maybe things are not what they seem on the outside...
theres always that Maybe~
reality is to know a person truly well, one has to be observant... remembering each little motion or way the other person does something.
If you wanna put it to the test.. heres a way to find out

1- Pick someone you think you know truly well
2- write a paragraph on that person and in that paragraph include everything- every little detail abt him or her that you can think of, that others might not realize or know abt...[e.g. habits... fav food...most hated color... fav shop to go to...fav snack etc]

... If you cant think of much to say then... think again... coz its a high chance you don't know that person as well as you think you do...

=] try it !!! at least it tells the truth.

dilemma

Is it juz me being indecisive.. or is it really that hard to make a decision!??? I absolutely cannot stand having to make a choice between *good* or *good*...i mean who wants to have to choose between 2 good things when the best choice is to have the best or BOTH WORLDS... .which of course... in real life does not exist 99.99999% of the time...
but.. but.. there is still that 0.000009 *recurring* % ... so can i have it ??

i wished there was a see saw to weigh ALL the pros and cons for me so that i don't have to take so much into consideration and make a choice and stick with it!... but really it comes down to being afraid of regret after making that choice... HELPP ~

its my dilemma ...

left or right?

1st or 2nd?

yes or no?

Uni acc or Economics?

specialist maths or Uni acc?

Economics or specialist maths?

HELPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

laterz
*gone to take a breath*

It sure feels good to be back on planet earth ... from a hectic ass 3 weeks! life has been full and BUSY ... thats why i didnt blog.... T__T actually truth is i forgot i had a blog.. till a couple of days ago!!!
BUT anyways!!! These 3 weeks has been pretty different.. i've had real good times but through it all i figured something out and here it is.
Its not hard to be selfless yet its so easy to be selfish and in these passing weeks i've realized that i am actually VERY self centered.. in a way that alot of the times my friends are always there to support me but [if it makes sense] i hardly swap places with them. it took me alot of courage to admit and very little observation to realize i was doing it to the ppl i really and truly treasure around me... and i'm sorry guys if u've ever felt that way abt me. i'll try to change but i guess it'll take sometime...

anyways on with life... i've had 3 outcomes in the last week and 3 more to go ... it sucks but i guess one good point is that once this week is over =] i'm closer to the holidays ! WHEEEEE
alrite time to get back to studying=.-