Dating the telephone

The worst feeling ever is to feel like you're in a relationship with someone who is just a figment of your imagination and is gradually fading away in the distance. All of this is torture and more, when one eventually finds himself / herself basing an entire relationship, which once felt so real, on a thin curly black wire called the telephone line, which sometimes doesn't even work very well over the 100000000km of deep international waters. During the short minutes of chatting over phone, how much can be exchanged? And once the call ends and the voices stop crossing the waters through these wires, then there is nothing left but an image of the person in your head and the things they've said or done with u in the past ~ the memories. 

So what will one do to make it last? Can it last? Will it last? Will an ancient imprint of that partner and a thin black wire be enough to suffice the whole triangle of the emotional, physical and spiritual sides of any relationship at all? 

Well truth is, one will never know, for every individual is unique in their own way and have special approaches in loving someone. Hence there is no one outcome to such relationships... or so i guess?.....and so i wish... 

Maybe wishing that this will be different to the usual outcome that these international dividers and deep blue oceans give rise to. 

However, the point at which one finds him/herself calling, talking and holding onto the telephone more than he/she is calling, talking and holding onto the person that they are supposedly "dating", is the point of insanity in a relationship - And that's pretty much, dating a telephone line in a nutshell for you.

The suburban home...

On a quiet, gloomy day in a modern looking suburban house, there was me and the dog. 

Slouching in my couch thinking of the many worries of life, i stumbled upon the one that i'm simply too unsure off - Distance and loneliness it brings, even more so, when the person you love is thousands of km away in a foreign land, distance becomes a nightmare, maybe even an extended one. 

Be it a family member, boyfriend, girlfriend or best friend, wherever in the world they maybe, the distance between you and them cannot be made any more real by the ticking of the clock and silence that surrounds you, once you're left alone. And I've found that this emptiness simply cannot be filled with any amount of cute soft toys, calls, messages, letters or flowers no matter how hard one tries to deceive oneself into thinking so foolishly. The presence of that special one, is all that is needed to make things whole again, yet sometimes it is not your will that life allows to unfold, but the will of totalitarian governments and a loved one who is trapped within its nets. 

Walking into a house with people in it, feels like home, but walking into a house with no one but cold air feels like a cage. Desperate needs call for desperate measures hence, my unwillingness to come home to a cold house made of wood and beams, with a pile of dishes stacked up in the sink and pots and pans waiting for me to clean. Simply not the home i wished for. Working 2-3 jobs is hell of a lot for a normal person with a warm home to go back to, but not alot for someone who has nothing to go back to. 

The most empty point is when everyone leaves for a good reason, so you can't ever get angry or blame them for leaving you behind, yet when silence kicks in and all you want to do is find someone to blame and someone to hold, there is no one there for you, but yourself -

Just another quiet rainy day in the eastern suburbs around melbourne... 

Pray - True Vibe

"Thinking through

What to do

You're searching every angle and point of view

Good advice, well rehearsed

Only seems to make matters worse

When you're at a dead end

Where do you go?

My friend, there's an answer I know

Pray, when the road is steep

Pray, when you're hope gets weak

Know the Father hears through

The silence and the tears you

Pray, when you don't know how

Pray, heaven's waiting now

And Jesus is just a breath away

Pray

The deepest sighs

Of the heart

Sometimes it's a struggle when we first start

To wrap our needs up in words

And trust that somehow we will be heard

Draw near, and know you are loved

God hears, and his heart is touched

Pray for the strength you're needin'